Disturbances

By writing this entry at such timing, it takes great length to show how disturbed i am.

I'm not really sure why, when, what, where or how the events that are happening is causing disturbances to me. A recent discovery is that my processor is getting a little slow down. I'm not sure is it due to handling of too many stuff, juggling between work and study or trying to remember things. I'm not sure. I'm even getting tired to stand up for my own rights, I'm not fighting back.

This is a dangerous sign...cos the next who really step on my tail is rather pathetic. (ps: if i've got the will to fight)

I hope that people who are forgetful with what they say or do, do not come back to me and say "Why didn't you say it earlier" I'm not sure why do i have to sound apologetic when you are the one who can't remember and still shift the blame and call me names.

The thing that i HATE most: Accusations. Be it on me or my friends. But I have a strong sense that this "hate thingy" is on holiday mood as I'm not retaliating to anything now. Or have i just reach to another level of enlightenment?

Next, having eye problems is not a choice I've made or decided to have. Fate & destiny happens to walk by and chose me without telling me. What can i do. I do not expect anyone's sympathy or empathy. I jus do not need people with brains to ask me "Why everytime you need to go see eye doctor" or "you'll recover" even spending time educating them about my matter. I also hope that i do not need to go see doctor but its a wish that will never or ever comes true.

Does anyone think that I'm in the right mind that I like going to doctor. I would like to spend my $ in a happier mood too. Of cos, i have the choice of not to going but with the effect of visually impairment. Which is worse?

The happiest moment is when the doctor uses the word "suspect" on my case. It makes me feel happy that its a probable case. There is a slight percentage that I'm not 100% malfunction.

I do not need friends who tells you that going clubbing or drinking is not an act of good gal. Just because you don't club or drink doesn't mean others can't. Do i need to be a good gal. What's the definition? What's the use of carrying a label of good gal？To earn credits? Or get further discounts in shopping?

I do not need comments from friends who tells you that if you are married you should wear your wedding band. If not, you are classified as a naughty gal. What the f/d****** is this thinking? Is marriage all but a band that you wear on your ring finger? If yes, then you'll need a check up there. Suggestion of the Year: get yourself one if you are still single. Or is this wat we called "sour grapes" (PS: you do not need a band to remind youself tt you are married)

Its not that you cant share your comments to me or other but rather use a tiny weeny brain power to think thru your comments, we always welcome negative or positive comments but it must be constructive. Constructive is the essence.

Stop saying you are not being sensitive when obviously YOU ARE being sensitive. Wake up from your B*****XXX. If you are thinking that I'm writing about you, ha! you maybe right. (Ps: read this paragraph again)

I like my this statement the most: 如果你没有脑，请用一用你的屁股。在没有的话，用你的肾。